cae s-a terminat... yay!!

asa, acum dupa postul cam ciufut de dimineata, este placerea mea deosebita sa iti prezint report-ul, tip cae (certificate in advanced english) pe care l-am compilat ca sa sarbatoresc finalul examenului si ca sa investighez o problema care ma macina de mult timp.

Analysis of swear-phrases used in Bucharest

Introduction

The main goal of this report is the study of swear-phrases used in Romania and specifically in the capital city, Bucharest. In order to draw the valuable conclusions necessary, a survey was organized between April 3rd and June 10th interviewing around 1000 people.

The principal topics covered in this report are:

1. Preferred insults and prevalence;
2. Analysis of psychological profile based on insult statistics;
3. Recommendations to improve sophistication of insults used because Romania must reach European standards on absolutely all levels.

Participation

Those interviewed were between the ages of 14 and 60 since it is common knowledge that people older have trouble even breathing and cannot possibly utter swear words for fear they might be anally raped by stinky prison thugs.

The most insults are uttered by the people in Administrative Department 5 of Bucharest and the fewest are in Administrative Department 1. Generally A.D. 5 is known to be a focal spot of poverty having some of the worst living conditions in the entire European Union. The other sectors had similar insult usage patterns.

By far, the most loved insult must be dute-n pizda ma-tii (go to your mother's vagina) with a record-breaking 61.8% of those questioned declaring it to be their favorite. Another loved insults are futu-ti mortii ma-tii and futu-te-n cur pe mata (i.e. I'll have intimate relations with your mother's departed and I'll engage in anal penetration with your mother respectively) which were often mentioned together thus claming 17.4% of answers. Other variations such as baga-mi-as pula-n mortii ma-tii or baga-mi-as pula in mata have been included in the 17.4% statistic as a baga pula generally means to fuck. Some of the more timid participants confessed that they use slightly less sophisticated constructs such as sugi pula (you fellate), cacat (excrement) and ma cac pe tine (I defecate on you) - 5%. The remaining 15.8% is considerably divided amassing the higher-end insults such as borasc cacat in pizda lu' ma-ta (I am vomiting excrement in your mother's vagina) and sampona-mi-ai flocii cu saliva (shampoo my pubic hair with your saliva) and others. See http://www.insultmonger.com/swearing/romanian.htm for more detailed information. Viewer discretion is advisable.

Emerging psychological profile

It is most remarkable to note that some of the most popular insults have some traits in common. Specifically, dealing with the insulted person's mother (particularly her vagina, anus and dead relatives). The more high-end insult segment is dominated with insults with references to bodily functions, reproduction and all possible fluids in the human body that enter and exit almost all orifices imaginable.

This suggest a most traditional society. It is well known that insults mock that which is most sacred to a people, the social norm, values and taboo topics. This is why the implications of using one's mother in such a high number of insults is a Freudian disorder dealing with repressed sexual desires in childhood. In retrospect, interrogating a person about their sexuality would have proven most useful for it is my and my team's assertion that homosexuals use a different kind of insult structure (this will be studied in more detail in future reports). Another possible explanation is the pivotal role of a mother in a patriarchal society as well as the close association with what traditional motherhood meant for a woman before the advent of the current feminist movement.

The use of genitalia in the more complex swear-phrases is not surprising considering that they are taboo in almost all cultures (Romania's culture is quite traditional by European standards - see Recommendations section for solutions to this issue). What is quite interesting however is that most women interviewed specifically mentioned using a swear-phrase containing the word penis on a day-to-day basis. This perhaps suggest the emancipation of women in a society struggling to reach modern values as they will not allow being relegated to mere future housewife status. However, another certainly valid explanation is penis envy.

Also notably, more women than ever admitted using insults and in A.D. 5 for instance the number of females who declared they used swear phrases was nearing that of males and nearing 93%. And also, religious authorities are not used in most insults and they appear in only 2.8% of total insults currently on our list. This extremely small number suggests a society with extreme religious convictions (again not satisfactory according to European standards, must be lowered) only a fraction of those questioned daring to use God, the Virgin Mary etc. in their insults.

Recommendations

It is with great pleasure that my team and I present the most up to date solutions for improving the quality of swear phrases used in Romania. A particular emphasis must be placed on the creative construction of such structures. Also, cultural references are highly recommended. As the report Accelerating Secularization clearly demonstrated, one of the more important aspects is adding religious symbols in swear words as these contribute decisively to bringing previously untouchable concepts in public grasp.

For instance a well through-out insult might contain a simple reference to Nietzsche. The German philosopher is most well remembered for the famous God is dead quote. Certainly, it is out of context as the explanation actually refers to the consequences of rejecting Divine authority as no universal moral law can be possible in the absence of an objective authority. The issue is the loss of an absolute basis of morality which made Nietzsche re-evaluate basic human values trying to look for foundations deeper that Christian morality.

Regardless, the phrase has entered the vernacular attacking fundamental aspects of morality. Thus, it is a perfect foundation for an insult as it combines faith as well as sophisticated philosophy. However, it must also use the preferred insult constructs of the locals - it must contain references to one's mother (will be extracted later when a higher adherence to European standards is achieved) and sexual relations.

Thus a perfect insult might be - Nietzsche has had intimate relations with your mother and deflowered her gods. This may be translated as - Nietzsche a futut-o pe mata in pizda si i-a futut dumnezeii in inima.

The construction of more such insults and their introduction in Bucharest should become a priority of the European Council's next meeting agenda. All major integration efforts are done in small steps after all.